


Oh Look, The One Thing Money Can't Fix

by AsagiStilinski



Series: Pridecember 2019 [23]
Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor, Jounouchi Katsuya | Joey Wheeler & Kaiba Seto Friendship, M/M, Yami Yuugi | Atem Has His Own Body, Yu-Gi-Oh! Pridecember 2019, sorta - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:28:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22401805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AsagiStilinski/pseuds/AsagiStilinski
Summary: AKA: That time Seto breaks a priceless artifact and has no one but Joey to help himThings go about as well as one would expect
Relationships: Atem/Kaiba Seto
Series: Pridecember 2019 [23]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1560421
Kudos: 25





	Oh Look, The One Thing Money Can't Fix

**Author's Note:**

> Day 23- "Antique"

"There are just some things that you can't fix with money Kaiba,"

"Don't be rediculous Yugi, _everything_ can be fixed with money,"

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Seto knew those words would come back to haunt him- he just never thought they would come back in quite this way

".......You're a dead man,"

Seto's eye twitched

"'Tem is gonna kill ya',"

His jaw tensed

"Thanks but I don't need any more comments from the peanut gallery," he hissed back

Joey put his hands up in mock surrender, giving a little shrug as he stared down at the mess on the floor

"I'm just sayin'... I know you're like... athiest or some shit? But if I were you I'd find a god an' start prayin',"

Ideally, Seto would have liked to have a sarcastic comment at the ready to throw in Joey's general direction

Sadly things didn't quite work out that way

"Even if I _were_ to do that, I would just choose Atem's gods and I'm pretty sure they'd be on his side about this,"

"Yeah, ya' ain't wrong about that,"

There was a pause, a beat passing as they both stared down at the shards of clay on the floor

How had this happened?

How had he gotten himself into this situation?

How had he ended up in the position of having accidentally broken a priceless ancient Egyptian artifact?

...

"An old vase" is what Seto had first wanted to call it, right up until the moment when Solomon Mutou explained that it was an important artifact coming from the tomb of a pharaoh even older than Atem and that it would hold great historical value

...

Approximately five minutes later Seto destroyed it- by accident! ...But still

He had just innocently picked up his breifcase to head out of the museum for a phone call, and in doing so, turned a little too quickly.... and the combination of his coat wipping behind him and the slight gust of wind caused by his momentum caused the vase to start toppling... and when he turned quickly in an attempt to catch it, accidentally nocked his breifcase into the podium and just caused it to fall right over and smash onto the floor

........

GREAT

"Is this what it feels like to be you?" he asked absently, drawing a glare from the blonde next to him

The fact that Joey was even there (and thus had borne witness to The Incident) was some weird twist of fate, he had only come to the museum in the first place to meet Yugi for a date, not even knowing that there was being a new artifact set up that day

Honestly, by all standards, Seto himself shouldn't have even been there

He had just wanted to show up early to pick up Atem for lunch, not get stuck with a history lesson wile waiting on the pharaoh to finish whatever the hell it was he was doing in the back with Solomon all this time, and yet here he was, staring at the remains of an old vase as well as his considerably newer relationship

"That really ain't the way to talk to the only person who might just be able to save your skin here," Joey pointed out, his eyes narrowed, clearly displeased

"And how exactly do you intend to that? By gluing it back together?"

"Well if ya' don't want help...."

No, he didn't want help, because he had a feeling that whatever "help" he was about to be offered was utterly asinine

......

But he also didn't want to have a relationship with Atem for exactly five weeks and then watch it get flushed down the toilet because of a fucking vase, so here they were

"What did you have in mind?" he muttered begrudgingly

Really, the grin on the blonde's face was every bit as terrifying as it should have been

~+~

Seto couldn't believe this was happening

He couldn't believe he really thought that he was going to get away with this

He couldn't believe he had ever agreed to participate in this absolute bullshit, and yet here he was

The vase was as beautifull and clear as before, looking remarkably undamaged and clear from it's place on the podium

"I think we did it,"

Maybe, but Seto wasn't prepared to start counting his chickens just yet...

"Ah, Seto! Sorry that took so long, I was assisting Grandpa with a translation,"

Turning towards the pharaoh, Seto's lips quirked up into a small, genuine smile as Atem leaned up on the tips of his toes and pressed a kiss to Seto's cheek

"It's fine," he replied simply

"Still-"

Atem paused, turning to Joey and offering a bright smile of his own

"Joey! Good to see you, here to meet Yugi?"

"Yeah but he's runnin' late with work,"

"Ah... sorry to hear that, do you two have any particular plans in mind for your date?"

"Nah, we're just grabbin' lunch,"

"Ah, so are we, perhaps you two would like to join us? If Aibou will be here soon that is,"

"Sure, don't see why not, there's this new ramen place on Elm that I've been meanin' to try,"

"Ramen sounds good, Seto?"

Seto hated ramen, and he detested the idea of going on a double-date, but as of now he just wanted to get out of the museum as quickly as possible wile drawing as little attention to himself as possible, so he'd agree to eat nails if that was what Atem wanted

"Sure," he concluded

"Excellent, then should I phone Yugi and see how much longer he'll be?"

Before either of the taller men had the chance to reply, the pharaoh happened to glance down, and-

"What's that?"

Stiffening, Seto's eyes flickered down to the floor, and the desperate desire to save his own skin kicked high into gear

"Nothing," he said on instinct, wich was likely the most stupid thing he could say, but he was panicking a little too much to think that clearly

And yet, despite his brilliant declaration of "nothing", Atem reached forward anyway, grabbing the little white cube from the floor before Seto had any hopes of absconding with it himself

And ofcourse, as Atem removed the little cube from it's place on the ground, the holographic image of the vase on the podium was disrupted

.....

Maybe Atem wouldn't notic-

"What in the fresh hell was _that_?"

Damn, he had definitely noticed

"W-Well-"

Atem moved his hand- and thus the tiny hologram projector- back and forth a few times, watching with growing irritation as the image continued to show it's disrupted pattern

.....

There was really no getting out of this one, was there?

"Seto Kaiba.... where is that vase?"

Oh wow, that was the "The doors of darkness have been opened" voice, it'd been a wile since Seto last heard that

".....There...... may have been an accident...."

Now Seto knew what antelope probably felt like when coming face to face with a starving tiger- that was a pretty mild sensation compared to the way Atem was looking at him

"What did you do?"

"Why do you just assume it was me? There are two of us here and of the two I"m not typically the klutz,"

"Because if it were Joey you wouldn't have hesitated to throw him under the buss and call him out,"

Damn, he was right

"It was an accident," he repeated, as though that would help

Atem pinched the bridge of his nose, clearly displeased

"And so instead of just confessing to that you decided the proper course of action would be to lie about it and poorly attempt to disguise your mistake with a hologram?"

Well-

"Did you actually think this rediculous idea would work?"

"....Actually it was his idea," Seto noted as he jabbed a thumb in Joey's direction

The blonde looked betrayed and offended

"I don't care who's idea it was, you're lucky that wasn't the real vase or-"

"Wait... _wait_.... say that again? _It isn't the real vase?_ "

Atem frowned deeper, if that was possible, his eyes narrowing in annoyance

"No, Seto, that wasn't the real vase, thank the gods, it was just a display replica, the museum almost never puts real artifacts of such import out on display,"

In that moment, Seto wondered just how much of life as he knew it had been a lie

"Are you kidding me?! Then what about that big rock Ishizu showed us years ago!? Was THAT a replica too!?"

"No-! ..Well... I don't think so... that isn't even the point! The point was I would have understood if you had accidentally broken the vase and just _told me_ so!"

"......And now?"

"And _now_ I'm pissed, because instead of confessing to the truth, you lied to me about something very important, and even worse, you used one of the stupidest things I can think of to try to cover up the incident!"

Jaw tense, feeling a toxic mixture of angry and embarrassed, he slowly pointed at Joey once again

".....That was his idea,"

If possible, Atem managed to look even angrier


End file.
